In around December of 1999, I found out that I was going to be a mother. A mother, me??? It was devastating news, since I was unmarried and still in college. I immediately repented publicly and made every effort to pick up the pieces and make the best out of my situation. I had known of wonderful Christian MARRIED women who tried for years and years to get pregnant...and when it finally happened, they were ecstatic! Because I got pregnant when I had sex outside of marriage, I was not able to experience the joy a mother has when she finds out that she is bringing a new life into the world. It was months before I was able to feel any kind of happiness because for a long time I looked at my pregnancy as some kind of punishment for my sins.
Greg and I got married in Feb. of 2000...and because we were in love, not only because we were going to have a baby. (although that sped up the process) Even though I still felt a deep sense of guilt for what I had done, I was slowly starting to get excited about the idea of having a baby. My family and friends were so supportive and much like God does when we confess and repent of our sins, they forgave me and treated me as if my sin did not exist anymore. I was given baby showers...I fixed up a nursery...Greg and I picked out a name...I went to birthing classes...and before long I found myself feeling that ecstatic feeling! That feeling that I thought I would never feel...that feeling that I thought I did not deserve.
One Saturday in August...after eating a Rally burger (YUM) I started feeling a little strange. Hours, and a phone call with our doctor, later...I realized I was in labor...and Greg and I went to the hospital!
At 5:38 a.m. on Sunday, August the 13th...I brought Damon Deval Moore into the world. One look at this beautiful baby, and I knew my life would never be the same.
I realized at that moment...that this was something that God meant for my good!
We are currently in a gospel meeting and our guest speaker said something that really hit home with me. He said that if we did not go though certain struggles in our life, we would not really learn our lesson and find that closer relationship with God. I can say without a doubt, that I would not be where I am spiritually if it had not been for the struggles that I went through. I have a deeper appreciation for my children, and for my own life and blessings...I find myself less judgmental of others who go through similar situations...I am completely and totally humbled that God could forgive me and wipe my slate clean so that I can go on with my life.
This has been on my mind lately because I am planning Damon's 10th birthday party...and his 5th grade year at school. I look at him and wonder, what did I do to deserve such an amazing son? He is so smart, funny, talented, sensitive, caring, and unselfish. In December of 1999, I had only feelings of guilt, despair and hopelessness...but in August of 2010, I have only feelings of joy, love, hope and amazement...that I could be so blessed!
Thank you God...for letting me be there to see his first Christmas.
Thank you God...for letting me be there to see his first day of school.
Greg and I got married in Feb. of 2000...and because we were in love, not only because we were going to have a baby. (although that sped up the process) Even though I still felt a deep sense of guilt for what I had done, I was slowly starting to get excited about the idea of having a baby. My family and friends were so supportive and much like God does when we confess and repent of our sins, they forgave me and treated me as if my sin did not exist anymore. I was given baby showers...I fixed up a nursery...Greg and I picked out a name...I went to birthing classes...and before long I found myself feeling that ecstatic feeling! That feeling that I thought I would never feel...that feeling that I thought I did not deserve.
One Saturday in August...after eating a Rally burger (YUM) I started feeling a little strange. Hours, and a phone call with our doctor, later...I realized I was in labor...and Greg and I went to the hospital!
At 5:38 a.m. on Sunday, August the 13th...I brought Damon Deval Moore into the world. One look at this beautiful baby, and I knew my life would never be the same.
I realized at that moment...that this was something that God meant for my good!
We are currently in a gospel meeting and our guest speaker said something that really hit home with me. He said that if we did not go though certain struggles in our life, we would not really learn our lesson and find that closer relationship with God. I can say without a doubt, that I would not be where I am spiritually if it had not been for the struggles that I went through. I have a deeper appreciation for my children, and for my own life and blessings...I find myself less judgmental of others who go through similar situations...I am completely and totally humbled that God could forgive me and wipe my slate clean so that I can go on with my life.
This has been on my mind lately because I am planning Damon's 10th birthday party...and his 5th grade year at school. I look at him and wonder, what did I do to deserve such an amazing son? He is so smart, funny, talented, sensitive, caring, and unselfish. In December of 1999, I had only feelings of guilt, despair and hopelessness...but in August of 2010, I have only feelings of joy, love, hope and amazement...that I could be so blessed!
Thank you God...for letting me be there to see his first Christmas.
Thank you God...for letting me be there to see his first day of school.
Thank you God...for letting me be there to pull out his first tooth.
Thank you God...for letting me live to see the young man he has become.
Please bless me with many more years so that I can keep watching all his "firsts".
Don't go too far...there is much, much MOORE to come!!!
There are others who have been with you through your journey. You asked "what did I do to deserve ...?" The answer is you are who YOU are. We love you very much and have always been and always will be proud of you. Mom
ReplyDeleteHey, beautiful girl... that was beautifully said! I love how God can use everything and that He "works" everything out for good! He knows what He's talking about when He says that He "makes everything beautiful in its time." Wow... it reminds me of the seasons that are talked about in Ecc 3, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven:...a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance,..." God uses time to work and make beautiful! Not only that, He knows what He's doing, too, when He knits a child inside his mother's womb. None of us are mistakes. He has a plan and purpose for each child He creates. Wow... who would have known then the knitting He was working on for now, huh? Like I said, I love how our Savior works! What a blessing our children are!!! Happy 10th to your Damon! (My goodness, he's gorgeous!) May you continue to celebrate each first and love him continually more the next day than you'd ever thought to love him before. They grow up too fast! I love my babes! They are the greatest blessings! And the sweetest things I know! Don't let people tell you that teen years makes them terrors. It's not true. I've never had such fun with mine than I have with them now. It just gets funner and funner! Not always perfect. But wonderful! I am so proud of you and Greg and the two that you have!
ReplyDeletebtw: Welcome to blogworld... As you can see, I'm a blogger as well!
Hugs from my house to yours!
sharon lee
Awww, this is such a sweet post! I love you and you precious family!
ReplyDeleteGirl, this is GRACE personified. God is So faithful and it is when we realize we have done nothing to deserve His blessings, that we begin to truly experience them in their fullest. You are a testimony to so many of how God turns negative circumstances into powerful stories that reflect His love to others. I have done so many things that break the heart of God. I have at times felt ashamed!!! But, He has saved my life and brought forgiveness where there was shame. I, too, am less judgemental because of it. I am ALWAYS reminded of what Jesus said, "He who is forgiven much, LOVES much." You are an amazing woman of God. Thanks for sharing your testimony. And yes, he IS an amazing kid!!!! KUDOS for bringing him up in the Lord MOM AND DAD!!! I love you girl! - Brianne
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